NeoCain

My friends, government spending is out of control. They even spend more money than my wife. And this has got to stop. Or your grandchildren will be paying off this dept. That’s bad. That one. That one named Obama is going to bankrupt this government with is social spending and his attempts to make this country a socialist country. Well, my friends, that just won’t happen on my watch. Now, I may have been focusing too much on becoming G.O.D. President of these United States of Eden™. But no more. I’M BACK.

My friends, thank you. I thank you for putting your country first and me second in choosing Obama for the next United States of Eden™ President. It’s good to know that you all past my test. You did not succumb to the hatred and terror of Dick Bush Election Tactics and elect me President of United States of Eden™.

I do regret any harm I may have done to Dave Palin. Any goofs or wrong doings or lynchings we inspired we inspired through my vision.

I now only hope that you can forgive me for my hatred.

My Friends, the main stream media and Obama and Clinton Kennedy have been at it again. They’ve counted me out, my friends. And you can’t count me out now, because I’m a fighter. And your a fighter. And if we fight together than we can knock the black from Obama then people will see him for the uppity son he is. That’s right, my friends. It’s time to get mean. It’s time to get violent. It’s time to pull out the white cone hats and masks, it’s time to get out swastikas, and if you got a noose or two, get ‘em, my friends, because were going to have fun with good old lynching before that boy Obama and make the White House the Black House.

That’s right my friends, It’s time for them to let YOU decide. Because I know what it’s like to not have a choice. I’ve been in dark places, my friends. I know what it is like to be down. I know what its like to be in the dark. I even know what it is like to be black, my friends. And my friends, it was easier, yes EASIER, than being white. That’s why the fight to the White House is a tough fight, but it’s the toughest fight I will win when you vote for me.

My friends, it’s called the White House for the reason. It’s called the White House because white people deserve to maintain control of its residents. Yes, my friends, white right is a right that has made this country great. It’s in the Constitution. It is what the white founding fathers envisioned for this nation to become: a nation of white power. Don’t listen to those terrorist liberals who want to infest our country with the believe that you don’t have to be white to live in the White House. Don’t believe those terrorist who tell you United States isn’t a white nation. That’s simply not true, my friends. And now it is time to show those non-white people just what white power is all about. It is time to fight for I will fight for you. I will fight for what is right. And what is right, my friends, is white. Now, my friends, there will be those who will tell you that the right to white power is not right. In fact, there are those who will tell you that white power is wrong. Yes, my friends, there are those among us that believe people other than white people deserve equal rights. Well, my friends, it is time to fight. It is time to find these people and show them how tuff we whites are.

My friends, if you want a terrorist running your country and spending your tax dollars than I am not your candidate for President of these wonder full United States of Eden™. I am not your man. Because if you want a terrorist, my friends, then you need to vote for Obama. That’s right, my friends. Obama. is a terrorist. And you want to know why he is a terrorist? He’s a terrorist because he’s black. That’s right, my friends, his black skin says he sinned and everyone knows black skin sin is from terrorism. Not only that, but he’s a nigger, too. I bet you didn’t know that, My Friends. Well, now you do.

My friends, I will fight for your right to continue your private wars. I will, my friends, allow Dick Bush Party Members to be excluded from the taxes my opponent plans to charge you to give back money to the poorest of our nation and the oldest in our nation. This, my friends, is a war against you because it’s a war against me. And you know I like to fight a good war. Well, my friends, this is a war I am will to wage for this is a fight against those people taxing you. I do this because I am fighting against big government. It’s a fight for you to win. Yes, my friends, we can win this war against us, against our ideals, against the war going on right now in your mind. That right, my friends, I am fighting also for your mind and your soul.

My friends, I know there are some who believe that me having twenty houses or having a servant staff the size of a large business keeps me out of touch with poor people. There are those who will try to convince you that being a crooked politician and taking bribes makes me a bad person. Still, there are many who feel my inability to only fuck my wife makes me a bad person.

My friends, I know these things may seem to make me out of touch with poor people and an immoral being. My friends, you must remember I was a Prisoner of War.

And as a Prisoner of War I am not allow to commit adultery, lie, cheat, horde money, and, yes, my friends, I can even kill and call my wife a cunt.

Being a P.O.W. allows for any politician to even go to war without cause. That’s right. If you think we are warring with the world know. Wait until you give me the power and right to begin to capture and torture my own Prisoners of War. Then, my friends, you will know the extent of my right as a former P.O.W..

My friends…My friends. We should ensure our rich people remain rich to allow the poor people of this great domain be guided by the rich because the rich are the true leaders of our domain.

My friends, the poor are poor because they have neither the initiative or the foresight to utilize their time for the greater gain of themselves and this United States. It is because of this lack that poor people don’t deserve our help. I promise you poor people will not be good for the economy. They are poor after all. And an economy right now needs rich people.

It is the rich that lead and succeed, my friends. We can hope and change all we want for the poor people to do anything that will help progress the economic state of this country, but poor people will never be able to help anything including themselves.

So I see to you today, ThisCycle, we need to begin to give rich people their do and increase their rights of control over the poor, and we need to slash their taxes to empower the rich to be rich.

I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe I did. I l don’t know. I do so many things during the day I don’t know where I am some times. So, so it’s hard for me to know how I voted. I will…I will have to check with my advisers. They’ll know what I voted then and how I would vote now. And remember back then doesn’t really matter. No, no it doesn’t. I’m me now. I am not me then. And now. Now I don’t even know what I think. What do you think? You should ask Carl Rove or William Crystal or Doctor James Dobson or Dick Bush. They, they are the ones that know what I think. They will answer your questions. Please. Next question please. And make it one that I know or you can’t ask another.

My friends, neocons continue to be the most progressive movement created in the United States of Eden. Neocons celebrate the victories and deaths from their desks while they inspire others to do our killing. And though there are those who oppose the killing of poor people and enemy citizens, there is the fact killing more of them will stop them from killing us. The Neocons know this. And they know big government because of big defense is small government protected
from the people and by the people.

…Wait, wait. I didn’t really mean that. I didn’t write that. What I meant and not what was seen on the teleprompter was not what I want to see. I want to see: And they know big government because of big defense is small government protected by the people and from the people. …That’s what they want me to say. I’ll see it.